Like the Ford Excursion, people sometimes reach 80 inches in stature. But even among the hardcore iron-pumping crowd, can any claim to achieve 7,000 pounds? In terms of sheer mass, the Excursion is unmatched. If the Ford Excursion were human, its line would be "six-foot-eight, three-and-a-half-tons, all man."
And if it were man, it would be getting all the ladies. The Excursion has been successful enough since its debut at the mark of the millennium that Ford retracted its plan to end production. You may remember that two years ago, those Sierra Club wackos speculated that the impact of thousands of 10 MPG vehicles wouldn't be the greatest gift to the environment or our economy. Ford announced that 2004 would be the Excursion's final year, but here we are in August of that very year, and already a 2005 model is on sale. Oh well.
But promises are meant to be broken. After all, this SUV took almost no design effort and net profit promised to be fifteen thousand big ones on each unit sold. The sound of KA-CHING! has a mysterious influence.
On the consumer side, value is a subjective term, and numbers like $37,810 (Excursion's starting point) and $51,065 (high point) are nothing if not consistent with this SUV's other numbers. At 227 inches in length and 80 in width, the Excursion costs $25 to $34 per square foot. As long as bigger remains better and the Excursion's bulk keeps rising with its price, plenty will pay the admission.
That figure of $37,810 is the starting point for the lowest Excursion, the XLS, on which front and rear air conditioning, AM/FM/cassette/CD, power everything, keyless entry, and a Class IV trailer hitch are all standard. The XLS "Limo," true to its name, wraps all passengers in leather, electrifies the front seat controls, adds rear radio controls, rear obstacle detection, automatic headlights, mirror-mounted turn signals, fog lights, and a limited-slip differential. XLT builds on XLS with some of the above: power front seats, rear radio controls, auto headlights. The Eddie Bauer edition adds the rear obstacle detection system (again), mirror-mounted turn signals (again), leather (again), automatic air conditioning, adjustable pedals, and a bunch of "Eddie Bauer" logos stitched into every possible surface. Finally, the high-end Limited adds heated front seats, memory for seat and pedal settings, steering wheel climate and radio controls, 6-disc CD changer, and a garage-door opener, for folks whose garages actually have 19 feet of length to spare.
All trim lines can be ordered with any engine: a 5.4-liter V8 (horsepower/torque: 255/350), a 6.8-liter V10 (310/425), or a 6.0-liter turbo-diesel V8 (325/560). These combinations come in either 2-or-4-wheel drive, except the XLT Limo (V10/2WD only) and the 5.4 V8-powered Eddie Bauer and Limited models (2WD only). Upgrading to 4WD costs $3,255, but more on models that entail an engine upgrade. As for engine upgrades, buying the extra 2 cylinders only costs $585. The diesel sets the checkbook back by $5,345, though it does throw an extra gear into the automatic.
For decent acceleration, you'll need the V10, which is the only engine that can drop the Excursion's 0-60 time under ten seconds. This option brings the same number for overall miles per gallon: just under ten. The good news is that the V10 allows the Ford Excursion to match the acceleration of a Ford Focus. The bad news is that the year-end petroleum tab comes to $910 for one of them, and $2,640 for the other. No prizes for guessing which is which.
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